![]() My grandmother was dying, and every night my mom came home from visiting her at hospice I would sit on my bed upstairs as I listened to her in the kitchen unpacking boxes, raw from her own divorce, holding in the tears, her strangled sobs covered by her hands and I wanted more than anything to go downstairs and tell her she could cry that she didn't have to hold it all inside but instead I stared at the floor and pretended I couldn't hear.Īt my grandmother's wake, my aunts looked over the messy scribblings that she had written to the nurses in her last weeks when she could no longer speak and when my aunt Linny turned over a page and I glanced at where, in shaky scrawl the words "kill me" had been scratched, my aunt quietly crumpled up the page and held it in her hand. My grandmother held on to everything and in her dim attic, my mom and I discovered box after box of old newspaper clippings, cards, photos, letters of apology from the man who cheated her second husband out of all his money. She married my grandfather, a restless man who fixed the phone lines and worked too hard just to keep his family fed. She was born into the Great Depression and told stories of her family sharing a single can of Spam for dinner. Two years, though all she ever wanted was to live in comfort. My grandmother was wealthy for two years of her life. verb (used without object) to write awkwardly, carelessly, or illegibly. Here’s the executive summary of this post: Scrawl reveals the inner life of a junior high school bully, a huge, violent, lower class, shambling boy named Tod Munn who is secretly brilliant but plays being an oaf to conceal his intelligence and retain his hidden-in-plain-sight status in the complex social economy of his school. ![]() So this poem centers around a time in my life when my grandmother was dying, but the actual meaning of the poem is how the people in my mom's family deal with grief. to write or draw in a sprawling, awkward manner: He scrawled his name hastily across the blackboard. ![]() something scrawled, as a letter or a note. noun awkward, careless, or illegible handwriting. verb (used without object) to write awkwardly, carelessly, or illegibly. I decided that the single characteristic they all share is the way they hold on to things- photos, letters, grudges, all kinds of stuff. to write or draw in a sprawling, awkward manner: He scrawled his name hastily across the blackboard. However, when I wrote it, I didn't really want this to be a pity-party for me, I wanted to write something that described my mother's side of the family. Author's notes: This was the most intense poem I've written, just because it's from a time in my life that was pretty hard to deal with emotionally.
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